Setting: Way back around 1987 at a rough guess.
Characters: Davros, the Daleks
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all related stuff are the mighty BBC’s.
Summary: Daleks and Humans. Never should the twain meet.
Author's Notes: Based on southerndave’s icon.
Experiments in introducing the Human Factor into Daleks were not proceeding logically.
The three test Daleks just stood there in the testing facility, each with a number painted into it. The first Dalek was stood in front of a computer screen, frantically calculating and recalculating equations.
Davros’s brow furrowed more than normal. “What is this?” he screamed in his electronic monotone, “What has happened to my glorious creations?”
The Robo-man beside Davros examined his clipboard slowly and deliberately. “It appears that the original personality of the humans used in the study are emerging. This one was a scientist.”
Dalek number 2 was attempting to take all the weapons, ammunition and just about anything loose in the testing room. “EXPROPRIATE! EXPROPRIATE!” it uttered repeatedly, darting around the room.
“Number two was originally a human businessman who specialised in takeovers. We had hoped for an insight into human tactics, but not so far.”
The last Dalek was fairly still, and the Robo-man turned up the sound circuit at Davros’s nodded command.
“SO, THESE TWO DALEKS WALK INTO A BAR. THE FIRST DALEK SAYS “OUCH” AND THE SECOND DALEK EXTERMINATES IT.”
“What? What?!?!” screamed Davros.
“THIS ZYGON WALKS INTO A BANK AND SAYS TO THE CYBERMAN AT THE DESK, ‘I WANT TO INCREASE MY OVERDRAFT AND GET MORE CREWMEN FOR MY SPACESHIP’. THE CYBERMAN POINTS TO THE SONTARAN AT THE NEXT DESK. ‘TALK TO HIM – HE’S THE CLONE ARRANGER.’”
Davros spun around in his chair. “This is unacceptable!”
The Robo-man checked his list again. “The control subject was something known as a stand-up comedian. Though, apparently not a very good one.”
“DOCTOR, DOCTOR –“ began the third Dalek, but was interrupted by the other two Daleks instantly swinging their guns around. Cries of “EXTERMINATE!” filled the air, along with the blazing of gunfire.
When the smoke cleared, all three Dalek’s casings were destroyed, along with most of the testing facility. “Hmmm,” said Davros consideringly, “Maybe they are showing some progress after all….”