Setting: Post-season 4 for Ten, waaaaay after Chosen for Dawn.
Characters: The Tenth Doctor, Dawn and a couple of OC’s later.
Word count: 598 and 548
Disclaimer: They’re not mine. They’re not Morag’s either.
Summary: Dawn, the Doctor, and the rest of our merry band discover even more hazards of traveling in the TARDIS when you're also the Key to all worlds.
The third in the A Girl and Her Time Lord series.
Author's Notes: Yet again, written by myself and moragmacpherson cliffhanger style, desperately trying to stump each other. She does the first part in each post, I do the second.
Part 1 - Zen and the Art of TARDIS Maintenance
The Doctor raised his hands in triumph as the assembly he’d just installed underneath the console lit up with life. “Ladies, gentlemen, and lizards, we have a functioning time circuit!” He hopped up to his feet. “Thank you John, for the Klining crystal.”
“Don’t mention it.” John wagged his wrist. “Wasn’t near enough battery left in this to get me home on my own.”
“When and where would you call that, then?” asked the Doctor.
John shrugged. “Oh, I’m in no particular rush. Time Agent, you know, we’ve got all the time in the universe.”
“True that,” said Clark.
“So when are we going now?” asked Dawn, placing Emort on the console.
“Twenty-first century Earth,” said the Doctor, working various levers and knobs on the console, Dawn doing much the same on the other side. “Still need to get you that check-up, now that you’re the second to last of the Time Lords, plus it’s been ages since I spoke to Martha.” The center column pulsed and pumped away. “Course, that means that Clark may need to man the TARDIS for a bit. Seven-foot lizards are still a call for alarm in these days. And given Emort’s track record, perhaps it’s best that he sit this visit out as well.”
Dawn stroked Emort protectively, glaring at John. “Don’t get into too much trouble while we’re gone,” she told the vole.
With a shudder, the TARDIS finished materializing. Dawn peered at the monitor. “Looks like twenty-first century Earth to me.” She grinned. “Can I check first?”
The Doctor smiled. “Go on, then.”
Dawn dashed over to the doors, cracking them open.
“Doeth it look like a thpathe thtation?” asked Clark.
Dawn shook her head. “Looks like we’ve got Prince fans. They’re all wearing raspberry berets.”
John cracked a smile. “Those UNIT chaps did have a sense of style.”
Just then Dawn was pushed aside, as Martha Jones ran into the TARDIS. “Doctor! Thank God you’re here! We need you.”
Part 2 - This Isn’t The Way This Normally Goes
Dawn was somewhat confused. “First Ms Pushy over there charges straight into the TARDIS, almost knocked me into one of the struts, and now she’s standing in front of Captain John,” she muttered, protectively cradling Emort.
Clark raised an eyebrow, and smiled slightly, and stood back to watch what the silly humanoids would do this time.
Martha Jones stood there still, in the middle of the TARDIS, staring expectantly at the man in front of her. “Doctor?” she repeated.
Captain John, resplendent in his new red and black old army tunic he’d ‘borrowed’ from the TARDIS wardrobe blinked. “Yesssss?” he ventured.
Martha scanned him quickly up and down, and then up again. “New regeneration? I like. Now quickly, Doctor – UNIT really needs your help. Your timing is immaculate.”
Captain John’s lip twitched in amusement. “But of course…Martha? I’d love to help you out.”
Martha quickly looked around the rest of the TARDIS console room. “Better leave the bimbo behind for a change Doctor, and the lizard guy’s going to stand out way too much,” she said dismissively.
Dawn’s jaw dropped, and Clark had no doubt that if Emort had been in his travel sphere, it would have been propelled in Martha’s direction at a high velocity. Just in the interests of general discretion, he decided to step back a couple more feet. Just in case
“Ahem!” said the Doctor indignantly, stepping out from behind the TARDIS console, “And what about me then?”
Martha looked at him, and then nodded approvingly. “Yeah, you’d do. You could pass for someone from this time period fine. And you are?”
The Doctor looked uncertainly at Martha. This was obviously no time for jokes, especially with all the UNIT soldiers waiting outside that he could on the monitor. And yet… there was something that just felt wrong here.
“John Smith,” he said slowly. “I just joined the Doctor’s merry band of companions.”
Captain John looked sharply at him. “Are you sure- - ?” he said, before the Doctor quickly jumped in. “Am I sure I want to see this strange future England, Doctor? Oh yes, I want to see how much things are changed?”
He turned to Martha again, who was regarding them with a cool expression. “I used to be a teacher, you know,” he said, watching Martha closely for any reaction whatsoever. “Back in 1913, at Farringham School. But that was before all that dreadful business with those scarecrows.”
“Lovely,” said Martha, “Now about our little UNIT problems? Shall we go?”
Dawn frowned. She didn’t need the Doctor’s little suggestions floating around in the back of her head to see just what was going to happen here. But she didn’t have to like it… “Awww…” she piped up in her best bubblehead manner, and silently blessed Buffy for teaching her that particular set of tricks. “So, like, that mean that me and Clarkie can’t come? That, like, totally blows chunks.”
The Doctor and John shared a long look, while Martha stared at Dawn. John eventually sighed and shrugged. “Fine!” he declared loudly, “Niblet, you and thunthine stay in here, while ‘John’ and I go do UNIT’s dirty work for them.”
He strode off towards the TARDIS exit, and Martha quickly joined him, with the Doctor catching them up. “So, my dear, what appears to be the problem?” he boomed, as they exited.
“Well Doctor, there’s three different problems that we seem to have right now…,” trailed Martha’s voice back inside the TARDIS.
The Doctor, as he exited, muttered “Oh, I kinda suspect there’s a fourth one we already know about….”
He stuck his head back around the door suddenly. Pointing directly at Dawn, he placed his fingers to his mouth in a shushing gesture. “Behave!” he said, and then was gone again. The sound of several cars departing also drifted in.
Alone in the TARDIS, Dawn and Clarkie stared at each other. Dawn’s expression darkened, and she stamped one foot in the ground. “That had better be some kind of possession or evil clone or… or something! Or I’m going find myself doing something to that bitch.”
Clark decided not to say anything too placating. Last time he’d tried to do something when Dawn was this angry, she’d muttered something about ‘handbags’ that had chilled him to the bone. “Thould we do thomething? Monopoly?” he ventured, hoping a change of subject might work.
“Damn straight, Clark,” said Dawn, and smiled evilly.
“First thing we do is sort you out,” she said thoughtfully, studying Clark up and down. “There’s nothing we can do effectively unless you can pass for human out there.” She carefully placed Emort down on the console, turned away and started digging through the big pile of spare parts that the Doctor had dragged out to repair the TARDIS circuits.
Clark looked down at his scaled skin, then back at Dawn. “You and the Doctor both keep thaying that I’ll never path for human in thith time thector.”
“Aha!” said Dawn, pulling two particular pieces out of the jumbled pile of odds and sods. “Yes, well, the height’s still gonna be a problem, but I think we can pass you off as a Harlem Globetrotter if we have to.”
Crossing over to the Doctor’s workbench, she activated his soldering iron, and started work on the parts she had there. “Gonna need your reading glasses, Clark. God, this would be so much easier if I had a sonic screwdriver. Note to self : build own sonic screwdriver.”
Clark’s brow furrowed in worry, but he obediently gave Dawn his glasses. Emort squeaked at them, and started licking his paws.
“That should do it. Try these on now, Clark.”
Clark placed the slightly warm glasses on, carefully. Whatever machinery Dawn had added didn’t seem to affect the weight at all. Dawn, watching him, whooped and hollered in glee. “Yes! I knew it would work!”
Taking pity on him, she decided to explain. “It’s an adaptation of something the Doctor once did to a TARDIS key. One of those little background things I picked up as a result of our shared Time Lord link. Basically, it’s a perception filter. Instead of people no longer noticing you like the Doctor did, this makes everyone who looks at you see an ordinary human being – but you have to be wearing them.”
Clark blinked. “Tho we can go outthide now?”
“Yup,” grinned Dawn. “Let’s go surprise the others. Assuming they’re still around here. Ms Pushy needs that stick removed from her ass after all.”
Still smirking, Dawn couldn’t resist one final touch before they left the TARDIS. “Anyone asks, say your name is Kent, k? Consider this your secret human identity.”
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